Red Hot Diva

The Saline Dion of the robot world, “Red Hot Diva” can’t sing her way out of a wet paper bag but thinks she looks almighty hot on stage. She comes into her own at night when the flashing red light under her skirt is turned on and flashes through the pattern of her dress. Accompanied by the drummer they make a formidable pair visually but let themselves down on the music front.

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U.K Deports NZ Rugby Player

A New Zealand rugby player is about to be deported from the United Kingdom after his failed bid to stay in Scunthorpe. The British immigration authorities have made the decision that he must leave the country on the grounds that he must be either irreversibly concussed or totally deranged to want to reside in Scunthorpe.
An immigration official who wanted to remain anonymous said a person who willingly leaves a south sea paradise to live here must have severe psychological or psychiatric problems adding that he would be a drain on the public health system.
A survey taken by the “Scunthorpe Telegraph” found 95% of those polled wanted to be deported from Scunthorpe to New Zealand. The majority of those were willing to pay for the privilege of deportation.
The rugby player is appealing the decision on the grounds that if he stayed it would reverse the population decline.